They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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