I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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