would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
