imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
