Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I know her cup size but not her name....
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize