nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
