I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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