She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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