Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I met the friendliest cop last night
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
