So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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