Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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