is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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