you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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