Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Sober January is a disaster.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
