I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
i think i just lost a toe
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