The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
