Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
