I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
