how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
