Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
