so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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