He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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