You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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