why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
