yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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