youre lurking in front of me
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
