Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
