Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
there was a trapeze. enough said
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
