It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
