well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
