i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
