I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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