road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
