But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
i now understand why vodka
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
