hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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