Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
