speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
