All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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