dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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