She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
