She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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