New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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