Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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