Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
