remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
