I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
