so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We have started to decorate penises.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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