we made out on top of his cat.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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