So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize