White coat. Heels.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
