I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
