He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
