Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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