I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
