i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
