it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
