She's JV to your varsity
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
