Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
false alarm. still invincible.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Randomize
