Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
