I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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