She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
