I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
