i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
