nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
do herpes really smell.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
