a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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