i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
