I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
