oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
