I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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