im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
