So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
she peed on how many people?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
