At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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