Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
