Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
