I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
And then the night went full on bisexual.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
