it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
