if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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